Sometimes things are okay, but sometimes they’re not. The key is speaking. Tell someone. Take a breath. I know that’s a big command. Vulnerability is hard. It’s hard stuff to share something that’s bothering you with someone else. Even when it’s crushing you, even if it’s the dominant part of your life. Everyone else has bigger problems. I’ll tell you right now: your problems are valid. Everyone has problems. Some might be more immediate, some might have stronger implications. That doesn’t diminish the fact that something keeps you up at night. Everyone has something and no one gets to discount that. Really.
Take it from the girl who can’t speak. My final exams are not less than anyone else’s. My confusing relational issues are not less than everyone else’s. The real one – my actual problems, the ones that twist my heart and hurt my head, are valid. I deserve to share them, the people who I engage in relationships should listen. If they don’t, if they brush me off, they’re not worth it. End of story. Relationships are relational. Duh, you might say. But really. When you engage with someone, it’s all in or all out. If you are in any sort of relationship where you find yourself carrying the weight of their burdens but they do not know what is happening in your life, end that. End that now.
It’s a heavy lift, dragging around someone else’s life. It’s hard work. You have an obligation to the world to be a good person. You do not have the obligation to break yourself because you are carrying the weight of more than one person. That’s important. You have to care for yourself before you can protect anyone else. Big. Cry it out to the people you trust. When something isn’t right, you have to share. It will change everything. Don’t let anyone place disproportionate pain on you. Be relational, be engaged. Fill your half of everything. Fill up.
Stop being a vessel for everyone else to pour into. Fill up with yourself and pour out into everyone else then let them pour into you. You’re not inanimate, waiting for a use. You exist. Share that.
drink the tea, read the books 